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September 2, 2005 I will remember this day for the rest of my life.the day we went to pick up our new baby. I had butterflies all week in anticipation of his coming. Tom (Volunteer Director) and myself left here (GGA) at 7 am this morning, On the way we were picking up Mildred a local Zulu woman who is a social worker that works with GGA and a friend of hers. It was a long but great three hour drive to the hospital where we would receive the baby. We drove country roads all the way, stopped many times to let animals cross the road. We drove through many villages, the areas were so rural and mountainous and the drive there it self was awesome. I was told I would stay at the hospital while the others went with a community worker to do the necessary paper work involved. I was dropped off at the hospital and was shown to the baby.yes.my baby, I bonded with him immediately, and he is precious. He was in a ward with about 40 other children 90% of them HIV, we thought he was 18 months old but he turned out to be 2 ½ and had been living at the hospital for over two years. He was abandoned at 6 months old. He looks 18 months old and is developmentally delayed. We are told he is healthy, time will tell. I was there for about 3-4 hours waiting on the others to come back. I had the time of my life.I brought along bubbles, books and yes a hair brush just in case they wanted to brush my hair.my babies here at the orphanage love doing that. There must have been at least twenty children at my feet.I read my books and let them blow bubbles, brush my hair, take my ear rings off and on about a hundred times.we did this until they literally fell to the floor fast asleep. After all it was lala (nap) time; they stayed like that at my feet for two hours. I wanted so bad to take pictures but was not allowed to. When my baby woke up I changed him into the clothes I had bought for him.these were to be his first clothes.he has been in a hospital shirt and nappies his whole time there.everyone came by to see him dressed.they all seemed so happy that he was getting to leave the hospital. I took my first picture of him when we got into the truck to start the long ride home. This will be his first time outside the hospital. I will post copies when I can get them downloaded. (Still waiting on my computer) He sat on my lap all the way home, never moving or reaching for anything We were told by the founder (director) here and the social worker that he was like a zombie when they visited him before at the hospital.this was not the case now even though he was certainly quiet for a 2 ½ year old. I could tell there was so much more to come but he just needed time and a lot of love. I knew at this moment he had already captured my heart and there was no hope ever for me to keep my distance.I am in love!!!! We arrived home about 6:30 pm tonight.a long day for all. I cherished every moment of it.the best was yet to come.I had asked if I could keep him here at my house with me for the weekend (my weekend off) to let him get acclimated a little at a time.this is not something that they usually allow a volunteer to do but they agreed.I am stoked!!! All the crèche volunteers showed up at my house tonight to visit our new baby.he held court and charmed them all. I put him in my bed afterwards and he fell fast asleep.what an angel! Saturday - day 2 I let him sleep in, he awoke at 8:30 gave him breakfast.he acted like he had always been here. I had made plans for the all the other crèche babies to come to my house at 10 to meet their new roommate and play outside my house with him with the baskets and toys. He was still a little quiet but was taking everything in.Lungello, one of our two year olds decided she would take over in the mothering department and showered him with love and kisses.our 1 ½ year old Mandla gave him a shove.just a typical morning. All in all a great day! He has an extremely long name that I can not say but he also has a nickname .thank goodness . Phila pronounced (Peela) is spending another overnight with me. Sunday - day 3 I am really feeling like a new mother right now.very protective but know I need to start letting go..at least this is what others are telling me, so I decide Phila can go to crèche for part of the day, stay for lunch with the others and take his lalla (nap) there and I will pick him up at 3:30 for his last night to stay with me. I arrive a little early to pick him up and he gives me a giant smile and puts his arms out to me.I change his nappie and take him home with me for his last night. As excited as I am by all of this my heart hurts wanting all babies to have the opportunity to be babies. I wish I could keep them all with me.but I know I can't but am thankful nevertheless to have had Phila one on one for three days.Tomorrow we both get up early and go to work together.I am so thankful I will get to spend a lot of time with him at the crèche.he will go to Itsy Bitsy Creche School with me tomorrow morning, then he is back in the system.one of many. Maureen Ps, I took a lot of pictures of Phila the past three days.his bath time, play time etc. I will post them when I can. Again, I thank you all for making this journey possible. visit our web site at ---------------------------------------------------------------------- September 10, 2005 I think spring has arrived. Well almost arrived; one day it's real hot and then the next day cool. As you will see in one of the pictures I am attaching it was hot enough yesterday to fill the plastic pool and let the babies play in it. Some days it is still cold but for the most part the warm weather has arrived. It was a strange feeling to leave home this past May and arrive here with winter on its way. Last week I wrote you about the new little man in my life Phila, it was the most amazing three days to have him stay with me at my house one on one when he first arrived here. As I told you before he had spent almost all of his life in a hospital and coming here was his first time away from the hospital. He is settling in but at times he gets real sad and just cries for no reason, my heart breaks when this happens but I know it is going to take time and a lot of love and I have both. I am sending some pictures of his time at my house; I know you will enjoy them. I am also sending pictures of his first week here playing in my yard with my other precious babies. Yes. they are all precious! Amanda, my baby that has been so sick is doing much better at the moment and you will see pictures of her playing in my yard and taking part in Itsy Bitsy Crèche School. This is a miracle and I am thankful for it. Much love, Ps, hopefully Hannah, Lizzie, Bethann, Gemma, Debbie, Jennie,Laura, Kristi and Kerri these pictures will cheer you up some! (these are past volunteers that have recently left. I miss them so much) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- September 17, 2005 Not sure where to start this journal. For the past two or three weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster and I am just starting to realize what has been happening to me in this state. I am feeling all these emotions, whether sad or happy in a heightened state. At first I was alarmed thinking I am loving all of these children way too much and it is not going to be healthy for me or them when the times comes to leave them. Then I began to realize I came here to do just that, love them with a mothers love, so my conclusion is I will continue to love them this way and consider it a blessing that I had the opportunity and the ability to feel this love so strongly. On a sadder note, I am experiencing some real heavy stuff, before I shared with you a journal my roommate Libby wrote about a family in the valley where she teaches preschool (Our Journey is a big sponsor of their school supplies) the four children that had to walk so far to the preschool on a empty stomach, their mother so ill with 11 children to care for and no income to feed them? That mother is not doing real well at the moment. We took her to the hospital this week (most people in the valley have no money to afford transportation to a hospital) after waiting in line a whole day suffering with unbearable pain she was sent home and told there is nothing they can do for her? life can be so hard for these people. I can understand why they feel so hopeless. Can you imagine not having hope? I can’t. This same week at her school a child’s father hung himself when he found out he had HIV and left behind a family. When a father or husband dies in the Zulu culture the husband’s family can take ownership of all the family’s possessions as meager as they are. This mother has been left with nothing and told that her husband’s brothers intend to kill her for infecting her husband their brother with the virus (if the truth be known it was probably the other way around). To you at home this may sound so mellow dramatic but this is real and this is life in the valley. We were able to find her a safe place this weekend until someone here can talk to the Zulu Chief and maybe he can get a community worker involved, that is if there is one in her part of the valley. Sad to say all of this is not the least bit unusual here, this type of crisis happens all the time. People in the valley on the average go to a funeral a week. We are told over and over again we should not become overly involved - it is what it is - and we will never be able to do this for everyone and people will start to expect it. I see the truth in this but find it awful hard to swallow.
-------------------------------------------------------------------- September 23, 2005 I am still on that emotional roller coaster that I referred to in my last journal. I seem to be feeling everything so deeply lately. An update on our sickly baby, she is doing great at the moment, this is a miracle in itself. All of us here go a round wearing a big grin on our faces. I have been receiving e-mails from a lot of past volunteers asking me how she is doing, they all have played such an important part in her little life, can you imagine she is only two and touched so many people from around the world. An update about Phila, the baby boy that I got from the hospital three weeks ago, he certainly has captured my heart and my family’s heart in a big way. He is not adjusting as well and as fast as I thought he would, at times he gets real sad during the day and will only play by himself and not with the other children. I talked with one of the night time Gogo’s last night and asked how he is doing during the night, her answer saddened me so; she said “he wakes up a couple of times a night crying out Mama” I did not teach him that word but the Gogo feels he is crying out for me. You cannot imagine what this is doing to me. I have been talking with my daughter Krissy and my son-in-law Ben about Phila; they too have fallen in love with him and have a desire to adopt him. I intend to pursue this and want with all my heart to take him home with me next May. I have been told by some people here that adoption of these babies is not usually allowed, I have prayed long and hard about this and know I have to pursue it and if it is God’s will it will happen and if not I will have to accept that as an answer too. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you updated on what is happening. Again, I say, I am so fortunate and blessed to be here…thank you for your support! Love, Maureen --------------------------------------------------------------- September 30, 2005 A week in the life of Maureen - what an amazing week...cried tears of joy and cried tears of sadness. The sickly woman in the valley that I have told you about in past journals, she had been to the hospital this past month (a hospital for the very poor), in excruciating pain she waited all day in line and was told to go home at the end of the day, nothing they could for her. That saddened me and my room mate Libby so much we had a hard time swallowing the saying "it is what it is". We decided this week we would try to take her to another hospital closer to a city where she may get better care. Libby rented a car for two days and we took her to another hospital, the news was not great but she got the care and the test she needed, she has severe liver damage and is being transferred to another hospital...we explained to the hospital that she had no money and no means of transportation, they agreed to do it anyway. Somehow being two white women and very aggressive made a difference, how sad that it took that to get her the care she needed so badly. On a lighter note we took eight chickens and a rooster to her family at the beginning of the week, they live in a mud house on a very steep hill with no path way or road to it...we laughed all the way carrying a 50 pound sack of chicken feed up this rocky steep hill. This will make a difference for that family of 16, they now have a food parcel delivered every month and chickens that will lay eggs. Wish you could see my face as I type this next note - I am beaming and smiling from one ear to the next. Your prayers for my family have been answered. I found out last night that the director here has agreed to let me pursue the adoption of baby Phila for my daughter Krissy and Ben. This is a miracle...no ifs or buts about it. We have many many hurdles ahead of us, but with her blessing and help we have hope. Please check out the web site for recent pictures of baby Phila and my other precious babies. Love, |